blacksundae

I have a healthy appreciation for bullshit. Don’t get me wrong, I’m generally very anti-bullshit, especially when it comes to things like justifications for war, regressive anti-science and scaring people to (literal) death. You know: things that matter.

But I must confess, I do take a certain amount of pleasure in watching bullshit separate fools from their money. If it’s audacious enough, it can be like watching a well-crafted crime caper.

Which leads us to H²Om.

As if bottled water wasn’t a giant crock to begin with, these people have managed to bring it to a whole new level. From their website:

Promoting positive energy for people and the planet, H2Om uses words, colors, music, and vibrations as the inspiration and driving force behind our intention infused, interactive natural spring water.

Vibration - There are several distinctive vibrational frequencies that are incorporated in each bottle of H2Om.

The First is the vibrational frequency of the label. The use of words, symbols and colors on the label create a specific vibratory frequency. Each bottle also contains the sanskrit symbol of the Absolute, “Om”. It also contains the vibratory frequencies of the words “Love” , “Perfect Health” , “Gratitude”, etc. written on the label in many of the world’s languages. This represents unity among people, a subconscious reminder that we are not alone on this planet. A specific color vibration has also been chosen for each bottle, this color coordinates with the corresponding chakra.

Next are the very important Interactive qualities of H2Om. Our Trademark slogan is “Think it while you drink it.”® We encourage you to connect to the intention inspiring words on the label, create your own intention, and literally, “Drink in ” the vibration inspired intentions you’ve created. This not only reverberates in your body, but out into the world as well. It also brings about an awareness that connecting with your humanity, food and water is a sacred grateful act. As you drink, take a moment to use the words, colors, music, and vibrations as a tool to create your own personal intention! Set your world in motion, then watch as the law of attraction goes to work for you. Visualize great, extraordinary, vivid, mental and spiritual creations. For the good of you, for the good of mankind, for the good of the planet. Drink in the vibrations as you absorb the crystal clear spring water, then resonate the positive energy throughout your day.

As a bonus, (because of the recent scientific studies showing that water has informational memory) we also introduce audio frequencies to the water through sound and music. After the bottling process is complete, we charge the water in the storage facility with sound and music that was created with specific intention in mind, also utilizing frequencies known for having restorative qualities, that have been used by health practitioners throughout history. Crystal Bowls, Acoustic Piano, Spoken Word, Ancient Healing Scales and more.

We believe that everything in the universe contains a vibrational resonance or frequency. As powerful as water is, it is receptive and sensitive. We are made of water.

Based on these beliefs H2Om’s Vibration Hydration™ process was developed.

That’s some powerful bullshit right there. Very impressive. They expose water to some Yani, slap a pink label on the bottle and say it’s infused with “love energy.” I’m in the wrong line of work.

But don’t worry: it’s science! On the bottle* it says, “Recent scientific studies have illustrated water’s receptivity. Whether it be words, music, or thoughts, water retains and reflects the vibratory energy it is exposed to.” See? Not mystical claptrap! Science!

*Yes, I bought one (from Whole Foods, of course).