blacksundae

USS Tang (SS-306):

USS Tang (SS-306) was a Second World War era Balao-class submarine. She was launched in 1943 and had a brief but successful career before being sunk by one of her own faulty torpedoes in 1944.

I found this via MetaFilter, which also links to two other subs that met the same fate. Be sure to scroll down to Steven C. Den Beste’s comment, which details the bugs in the Mark XIV torpedo.

Being a chemist, and one with a childish sense of humor at that, I was filled with glee upon discovering this Wikipedia entry:

Cummingtonite
Cummingtonite or magnesium iron silicate hydroxide is a metamorphic amphibole with the chemical composition
(Mg,Fe)₇Si₈O₂₂(OH)₂.

My preferred definition: What The Thing’s…um…thing is made of.

Thanks to Bill Peschel from the CC for the Straight Dope link above.

Kick-Ass Band Name #8 is not actually my invention, but is provided compliments of our favorite comics blogger, The Comics Curmudgeon:

Grandstanding Oddballs

I almost didn’t want to create this as a recurring feature, since I’d be surprised if other blogs have not done this before. Then I said, “Screw it. We all find different things interesting.”

So! The very first Neat Wikipedia Entry on blacksundae:

Pica (disorder)
Pica is an appetite for non-nutritive substances (e.g., coal, soil, chalk, paper etc.) or an abnormal appetite for some things that may be considered foods, such as food ingredients (e.g., flour, raw potato, starch). In order for these actions to be considered pica, they must persist for more than one month, at an age where eating such objects is considered developmentally inappropriate. The condition’s name comes from the Latin word for the magpie, a bird which is reputed to eat almost anything. Pica is seen in all ages, particularly in pregnant women and small children, especially among children who are developmentally disabled, where it is the most common eating disorder.

I think what I like most about this entry is the very non-medical sounding name, and it’s made all the better by the lovely etymology.

15th Ward! Feel free to contribute installments of this feature, as I know you’re a total Wikipedia geek and probably frequent it even more than I do. Keep track of the numbering, though. Otherwise I’ll be getting hate mail from obsessive compulsives.

Well, hot diggity dog! We got ourselves a twofer here! That’s always fun! Like when you go to O’Henry’s and get a boiled peanut that’s all mutated and has more than two nuts in the shell. Sweeet! I’ve been meaning to post this first one (or sixth one, if you’re one of those big picture types) since New Year’s Eve, as Non-Shannon can testify. It’s a closed captioned sound effect from a Simpsons episode. Here we go:

Suspicious Moo

Eh? Eh? Not bad, huh? This next one I came up with this morning on the way to work. No interesting back story. Sorry.

Jung Beetle

That’s all for now! Don’t take any wooden nipples, folks!

[rating:2]

Well, this was a lost opportunity. Hire a hotshot young director, throw in almost every creature from the series, plus some martial arts and digital effects to spice things up. Yeah… not so much.

Problem 1: That hotshot would be Ryuhei Kitamura, director of the zombies-vs-yakuza action flick, Versus, a film that manages to be both hyperactive and dull at the same time. Yeah. Pretty much the same thing here.

Problem 2: Martial arts? In a Godzilla movie? Eh… yeah. It could work. As a garnish. We come for the city-stomping, not people punching each other. Once you realize that you’ve gone twenty or so minutes without seeing a giant monster, and are stuck with a bunch of cybergoths flying through the air, bickering over who has spikier hair, you tend to get a bit impatient. Less wannabe-Matrix bullshit, more kaiju asskickery.

Problem 3: Having tons of creatures from past movies, some unseen for 30 years, sounds great in theory. But there are a lot of monsters in this movie, and the human-scale fisticuffs take up a big chunk of the running time, so most of the monsters kind of get shafted. Blink and you’ll miss them. If Kitamura could have trimmed some of the martial arts and given us a little more time with say, King Caesar, I would have been a much happier camper.

I’d give this only one star, but Final Wars does have some good qualities. Foremost among them is Ultimate Fighting Champion Don Frye. Think Jesse Ventura without the acting ability. Yeah, no bald statuettes for this guy, but he nonetheless rocks. He plays a rogue airship captain who can fight with a katana and is the only person in the movie who speaks English. He only speaks English. Everyone else speaks Japanese. I can only assume that, like Chuck Norris, Don “The Predator” Frye speaks the universal language of pain. Pain and one-liners. Gruff, world-weary one-liners.

Anyway, when Kitamura finally gets around to the kaiju throw-downs, he delivers the goods, and that’s really this movie’s saving grace. The suitmation is nicely enhanced by the CG, the explosions are massive, and the destruction is total. Actually, this was the first time I’ve seen Godzilla destroying a city and thought, “Wow! That would suck!” It really is pretty apocalyptic, as you can see in the picture above. Fun stuff.

One wonderful moment is when Godzilla goes up against Zilla (aka Fauxzilla or American Godzilla). That’s right: the mutated iguana from the 1998 Roland Emmerich version of Godzilla. I’m one of the few people on Earth who enjoyed that movie, but I still got a kick out of seeing Godzilla mopping the floor (or Sydney, to be precise) with the American impostor. The bad guy’s response? “I knew that tuna-eating monster was useless!”

Priceless.

In the end, Final Wars is only really worth seeing if you’re a Godzilla completest. Otherwise, watch Destroy All Monsters and see how it’s really done.

P.S. The thematic connection between Godzilla and The Bomb is well known, but as far as I know it’s always been subtextual. In this movie, a character says that Godzilla’s motivation for destroying cities is that he’s angry about The Bomb. Yeah… guys? Let’s not do that again. Thanks.

It’s been a while, but it’s back! Better than ever, too!

My Fucking Monocle

This would be a death metal band comprised of stuffy, perpetually offended British guys. With pocket watches they check obsessively. Many thanks to Ron for the inspiration here.

The continuing stooory:

JonBenet’s Bustier

Hate mail may be directed to your mother.

The legend continues! Are you ready? Are you sure? Okay….

The Coke-Fueled Fuck Sessions

Thank you. I’m here all week.